Closing of a good 2011, Looking forward to an amazing 2012

"For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." -Psalm 139: 13-14

I always hesitated about having a blog for two reasons. One, I never thought anything really interesting happened in my world; so a blog about our life would probably be pretty boring (I think a baby will help with this). Two, I never trusted myself to keep up with it. Needless to say, a lot has happened in the past 6 weeks of our absence.

Week 20

We had our 20 week ultrasound after Thanksgiving. In all honesty, you go to so many appointments and you hear month after month, everything is great/normal; that you never expect to hear anything different. And I can honestly tell you, there is no amount of mental or emotional preparation you can do to ready yourself to hear anything different. However, we did get some not so normal news. And call it intuition, but I sat in the MD office before we were even told anything was questionable, just with a creeping and uncertain feeling that we weren't going to get the all clear. The ultrasound tech thought she saw a cleft lip and maybe palate. As a first time expectant mother, it's a devastating blow to hear (no matter how severe something might be). I can only imagine as a pediatric dentist who sees this kind of stuff frequently, it's probably one of the initial biggest fears on the mind (just because you are so exposed to it). I think it's kind of like hearing your baby has a heart issue and you're a cardiologist, etc. I cried for the rest of the afternoon.  I have the best rock of a husband. I can't imagine what the news meant to him, but he never once wavered in faith that everything was going to be fine. And in the midst of an emotional perfect storm, I couldn't have asked for a more calm and reassuring presence.

So we had to wait another week and a half (which is torture) for a level II ultrasound over at Shands. You want to stay positive, but when your doctor is telling you they are sending you to the place where sick babies go, your mind tends to think of all the bad things that could be. On a positive note, other than the cleft lip/palate, he's as healthy as can be. And in true Weaver fashion, his legs are 1 week ahead of the rest of his measurements! He also gave a thumbs up (which was actually the first picture we saw the second time around) to let us know he's hanging out and totally fine.

                                                                              Thumbs Up

Back of His Long Legs

                                                                         Profile Shot

At this point, the news has settled in. It's a fixable problem and in the realm of things that can go wrong, this is definitely on the positive end of the spectrum. Some days are better than others still though. We won't know the extent of the cleft until he's born. It could range from very little to needing special feeding equipment and more extensive intervention. So every now and then, I feel a little sorry that he already has stuff on his plate and he's not born yet, but he is already so loved, the sorry feeling quickly fades. And the nice thing is that he won't remember a thing about any of it. For me, I'm slowly learning to let go of the expectations I had (and trust God's plan that He has for us which is a battle I've struggled with all my life, but never quite in this way). I like being in control and I guess this is one way that He is reminding me, He's got everything covered and doesn't need my help. Adding to the mix we are also dealing with working with insurance, switching MDs/hospitals, finding a rental house, etc...so when everyone said it wouldn't be easy, they weren't kidding, I guess.

CURRENT BABY UPDATE- Week 23

Right now, he just continues to grow (which means I continue to get bigger and bigger)! There's no more skating by :) Unfortunately my normal wardrobe is getting more and more difficult to squeeze into (a reminder to myself to get some of those maternity pants hemmed). My goal was to make it to 5 months without having to go straight to maternity clothes and I'll get to 6 months before almost all my pants are off limits!

This week he's the size of a small doll or an ear of corn. Seems like 2 very different things, but more tangible measurements are that he is around 8.5 inches long and weighs close to 1.5 lbs! His weight in the next month is supposed to double! Patrick keeps saying he wants a fat, healthy baby. I'm more on the side of a long and lean healthy baby! :) He has grown eyelashes and can sense light too. One of the things I'm most excited to see is what his eyes will look like since Patrick and mine are so different.

I felt the flutters of the baby right after our last post (it was actually the morning of Thanksgiving). Now he is in full swing and I can see the movement on the outside! So in church this morning I found myself a little distracted as he was dancing and I could see it under my shirt. It's an indescribable feeling and it catches my breath when he starts moving. I think he prefers the quiet. When I'm at the hospital with all the noise, dings, etc; he stays pretty silent (much to the dismay of the staff who are constantly waiting to feel him move too). However, when I'm sitting on the couch at the end of the day or anytime I'm in bed, he is moving and shaking.

We are sure of some things in 2012 and uncertain about others. However, at the end of spring, we will have our little boy to love on and that in itself is an amazing thing.